“The living God is with us, whose power never fails, whose arm never grows weary, whose wisdom is infinite and whose power is unchanging. Therefore today, tomorrow and next month, as long as life is continued, He will be our helper and friend. Still more, even as He is through all time, so will He be through all eternity.”  George Muller

This quote reminds me of how much greater God is than I remember He is. He is the only one who’s always faithful, the only one we can totally count on. And as weak as my faith is, God is sovereign. And He is “with us.” What a comfort.

The Lord will protect you now and always wherever you go. Psalm 121: 8

What a comfort this is to me as we are preparing to move to South Asia! And what a comfort during any time of transition. God’s protection is greater than any distance, time, people, circumstance, developing country, government. Wherever I go–whatever I do–I have His protection.

Be stunned and satisfied that we know God and that He knows us. Future Grace, John Piper

How would this transform my life if I allowed it to? I should be stunned that a sovereign God cares about me and provided a sacrifice for me to be in relationship with Him. But how often does that become commonplace?

I should be satisfied that God knows me because He is THE thing that my heart longs for to be complete. He is faithful, purposeful, always there, just, and the only way to salvation.

“How people feel when they are returning home from an absence, long or short, I did not know: I had never experienced the sensation.” - Jane Eyre.

A few months ago, I would have said returning home makes me feel “relaxed, ready to veg out, refreshed, always glad to be there.” Now, the answer’s not so simple. I am asking the question, am I even home? Where is home? If it’s where I grew up, then, that’s in Alabama. That doesn’t really feel like home anymore. It feels like a place I used to live, remember fondly and enjoy visiting mainly for the people.

If home is my house, can it really be home if I’m selling my furniture and packing things away in boxes? My once-cozy solace is upside down with boxes, moving and disappearing furniture, a stack of blankets that I’m not sure what to do with, and empty spaces.

If it’s where Harry is, I don’t really feel like we get much time together these days. We’re both working on our own details most of the time right now out of necessity. It’s just a season to pass through for a greater end, but it isn’t an easy one.

But, if home is where God has called me to be, then I guess I’m there. Preparing to sell the only house the married me has known and some furniture and other things–just stuff, but symbolic of a huge life change. Moving toward our South Asian calling in the only way we know how, trusting God to provide the details, finances, and emotional stability to live life abundantly along the way.  And we’re thankful for the opportunity to remember to long for a home that we don’t know yet, something we don’t quickly remember when we’re comfortable and settled.

“It is a very strange sensation to inexperienced youth to feel itself quite alone in the world: cut adrift from every connection; uncertain whether the port to which it is bound can be reached, and prevented by many impediments from returning to that it has quitted. The charm of adventure sweetens that sensation, the glow of pride warms it; but then the throb of fear disturbs it; and fear with me became predominant, when half an hour elapsed and still I was alone.” 

This quote reminds me of the first time I traveled alone and tasted true independence. On my way to begin a study abroad program in London between my junior and senior years of college, I had no idea what I was capable of. I didn’t know I could read a map or navigate a subway system or a train schedule in a language I didn’t know–with nothing but my own mind and a friendly, bilingual stranger. I had just flown for 6 hours across the Atlantic and found myself in the London airport with no one to welcome me. The farthest away from home I had ever been. 

And I was alone.

It was 2:30 a.m. at home. I was exhausted. My parents were waiting to hear that I was safe. The airport was busy and the day was just beginning there. Hugging all of my luggage as close to me as possible, I made my way to a pay phone for the obligatory call that would ease my parents’ minds. 

I remember hearing their voices on the other end of the line. They sounded so far away and I got a little choked up and wanted to cry. But I stopped myself because I needed to be independent.  

I was totally alone in the world. Nothing was familiar. No one I could see was even aware of me. This occurred over a period of about 10 minutes, but it was poignant. 

Then, I picked up my luggage and found my next flight, discarding the loneliness and embracing the adventure.