Why is it so hard to get rid of things? It could be anything—from a kitchen utensil that we’ve bought a replacement for, but we just might need a second one sometime…to a church bulletin from 1993 from the church I grew up in. I have boxes of church bulletins and cards and mementos from vacations and well-intended scrapbook plans. I have plenty of stuff that needs to be thrown away that I just can’t bring myself to throw away. I’ll try to throw it away and then think, but this was the first…, or this was the only…, or Aw, this reminds me of…
My mom recently gave me all of my birthday cards from like the first 5 years of my life. She says because she thought I would like to see them, but it’s really because she doesn’t know how to get rid of them either! So, I looked through them and noticed that my grandparents were always apologizing for being late. I didn’t know that about them. Then, I noticed that there were cards from other relatives who have already passed away and I appreciated that I could look at their handwriting.
I think I’m afraid that if I just throw them all away, I’ll be throwing my grandparents away too, along with all of my memories of them. Is there a way to remember without hanging on too long? Is there a way to remember and move on? Do I need to keep everything anyone ever gives me to honor that person?
Take the chair as another example. A friend gave it to me when I moved into an apartment by myself and didn’t have any furniture. It’s missing a leg and needs to be cleaned. It’s a neutral color, but it’s really not anything to look at. I love this chair! I love it because it reminds me of my friend. It reminds me of a time when I didn’t really have much, but I was still able to create a home in which to bless people. I look at it and remember how it felt to move into my own place and to sit in a my own living room reading in the solitude. I like the way it feels when I sink into it with a good book.
The chair has been crammed into our guest room for almost two years now because I like the idea of a bedroom having a chair and because I don’t want to get rid of it, but it never really fit and I don’t think anyone really used it. Right now the chair is on its side in the middle of our living room while I try to decide what to do with it. We’ll probably give it away, but we could keep it and use it upstairs when we finish remodeling until we can afford something we like. We could cram it into another room and not use it for another two years. There’s one voice saying, if we give it away, what will become of it? And another voice saying, why do I care? It’s just a chair.